Some days ago there's one popular tweet asking where your school bully is today. Funny because I had just finished watching The Act of Killing and The Look of Silence and layer after layer of wikipedia pages led me somehow to this particular guy that was my high school bully. My answer to the tweet was that he is now a Komisaris Utama (the chief commissioner holding position higher than the board of directors) of a nationally owned company. A company belongs to his father, of course, one of the powerful oligarchs of this country.
I wasn't bullied physically or verbally assaulted, I was looked down upon by the popular kids because I didn't come from rich family. My parents sent me to expensive private christian junior high and high school with a homogeneous demographic without actually having the ability to pay for it. I was sent to the principal's office every month because my tuition hadn't been paid. One time during physics class I was sent to the principal's office to then got sent back to class to pack up and head home immediately and was told not come back until my tuition and entrance fee were paid off. I skipped school for about a week or so. Apart from these, I didn't look like rich kids, like everyone else. I didn't wear fancy shoes. I didn't have the nicest bag or stationery, like everyone else. I still remember the name of a girl who sneered at me and called me derogatory version of the word "poor" because I didn't own a scientific calculator. I had close friends but it never really was bff kind of thing because I didn't belong to the same class of wealth as they were. I couldn't tell them the causes of my stress was because my parents were poor. I remember one friend being so elated that I finally had my own mobile phone, way after everyone else. Some years later, one of my closest friends from high school ended up threaten to sue me on court by law because of some paranoia that could only exist when your family is so rich.
Meanwhile the bully, the guy I mentioned above, was ultra rich that his parents never once showed up at school. His chauffeur or his maid came up to school to collect his semester report cards and meeting the teachers. Apparently his father was adopted by a very famous islamic teacher and the whole family converted into fake islam and then they went on to rule this particular sector of industry nationwide, to this day. I never really had any contact or anything with this guy, but he, being the richest of all mankind feeling like he's above everyone else, of course looked down on me because I was obviously poor and being poor I wasn't particularly extroverted and definitely not popular at all, I had no business to exist among them. One day when I first started wearing contacts instead of glasses, one of his friends noticed and said something like maybe I wasn't actually bad looking. He immediately shunned it down and said why even bother with me at all. His insults were all actually small petty matters like this that didn't really bother me because I was used to it. But as much as he looked down on me, he disgusted me an infinite amount of times more.
Rich people think they are the ultimate goal of life, other people who have less should strive to achieve their status. Well, I do not think so. If anything, rich people disgust me more often than not. Some years ago my boss on my previous job lectured me on how to dress properly even when we're poor. How the rich, the clients, doesn't want to sit with the poor. I remember thinking clearly in my head, well, the poor doesn't want to sit with the rich either, they disgust me. In fact, one of the reasons I finally left that job was because I had enough dealing with the richests yapping about their newest louis vuitton bags. It irritated me.
Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't want to be rich, of course everyone want to have a lot of money. I know very well what it's like living poor. In fact, i am still poor. But two things I want to stress. First, I don't get why we shouldn't stop at having enough instead of having to get more and more and more, richer and richer and richest. But of course in today's capitalism, growth is everything and we are urged to make more and spend more. It's tiring and I don't think it's what an ideal society should be like. Of course we all are used to the status quo today and people think this is the only way of life. Which is not true. But this is a whole nother discussion for another day. Secondly, I hate how wealth is use as a parameter of human beings in society. Wealthy people are put on pedestal by default. I grew up in a chinese society where the number one importance is wealth and prosperity. Even to this very day my chinese friends would treat me like someone who should be pitied because I don't drive a car. In fact I choose not to own a car and I'm proud of it. I don't feel any bit lesser than my friends with the fanciest cars. Meanwhile among them, the fancier the cars the more successful you are and therefore deserving of more respect. I, on the other hand, would be the proudest if I could live in a city where I could walk and have impeccable public transportation that can take me anywhere. The other day a friend, chinese of course, casually said that I was stingy because I don't buy branded stuff. It caught me off guard because I never feel the need to buy anything just because it's from luxurious brands. I wouldn't mind buying them if they're of the quality I need and are reasonably priced. On early years after graduating university, the conversation among my high school friends would be about how the standard was to use Kate Spade handbags. I couldn't afford it. But the thing is, I didn't even like them, I think they're hideous and they're not my style. I'd rather use my canvas bag and be comfortable with it rather than having an expensive bag I don't even like. And I never felt inferior at all from them.
I feel like when I talk about these things to my non-chinese friends, they'd have a hard time comprehending. I would sometimes still be surprised of how other people's childhood environment are so different than mine. I grew up in a society where wealth matters most and my entire childhood felt oppressive because I couldn't fit in. And I still can't to this day, but I no longer give a fuck what other people say. This is why I think a homogeneous society is dangerous. People are not all the same, and we can't force everyone to fit into one single narrative of how we should be. And it can feel very depressing and alienating with a constant need to break away. Or, force yourself to fit in and be miserable with it. This is why I champion diverse society where we can find certain people we can align ourselves with more.
Today, that bully guy aside from owning a multibillion dollar company, owns another ventures, owns fancy clubs, collects art like rich people do. He has a big following on social media in which several of my newer friends, who never know him in real life, are among his followers. He, not surprisingly, has a very curated instagram page, posting bullshit meaningless quotes and pictures of himself with all kinds of nasty politicians and oligarchs. Basically, being the disgusting person he always has been.
ps. Screenshots are from an Italian TV series, Subbura.
