some years ago, discussing about what it is to live, someone told me about this story about the beavers. beavers are known as very productive animals. they are known for their natural trait to build dams on streams or rivers. they work with their long teeth which continuously grow so they will not be worn out chewing wood. now up until here the story is factually true. then she continued the story saying that the beavers would die if they don't work because their teeth will keep growing no matter what and they will kill them if they aren't used.
now that last part i'm not sure how true it is. but the story is supposed to be an analogy to what human being is also like. that human being is supposed to be productive. to produce, to create. that to counter depression, whether it's because of psychological trauma or loneliness, what's needed is to produce. creating something out of yourself will generate the joy and appreciation of yourself and therefore increase the contentment of being oneself. my other friend once sent me a comedy video in which one said, "having children is sort of like a way of achieving something without having any talent". which also explains the producing theory, although jokes aside, i'll leave this sensitive subject out of discussion.
iceland as one of the happiest country on earth is a place where everyone creates something. as kjarri from sigur rós once said in an interview, "I think that people just feel the need to create something, painting, writing a book.. which can be annoying sometimes specially, you know, these days, because if you're not doing something, you're nobody. why, you're not writing a book?". same thing is also mentioned by eric weiner, talking about iceland in his book 'the geography of bliss', where the government gives incentives to writers and artists.
sadly, in the world today, we are mostly driven by consumerism rather than productivity. not just consumerism of materials but also of overly excess informations. we have so many options of online entertainment, social media and such, we spend most of our free time indulge in it.
also i realized the level of appreciation has somehow shifted. i don't know whether it's because of we're growing older or it's just because of the pace of life that is getting faster and faster. everything becomes more and more instant. we no longer sit and write our thoughts but this is the era where we put online our mundane daily life photos or videos that will disappear in 24 hours. when i told my friends i bought a typewriter to write poems, in a joking way of saying, they all laughed their ass off as if it's the most ridiculous thing. and when i tried to share some of my thoughts to a friend who usually was thoughtful, he ditched me to my surprise telling me that he no longer think about "abstract" thing. it has become too sad if all we can care about are just money and work and business. and politics. it's ironic how in the world that is getting uglier and uglier, the things that are actually making it more beautiful and thoughtful are being less and less appreciated.
in my last months living in milan, i always enjoyed visiting a friend's apartment where in his living room he stacks piles of books, design books, art books, poetry books, historical books, national geographic magazines. one day he showed me a published poetry book written by his father dedicated to his mother. sometimes i would find a dried rose sticked on a piece of paper or a book of random sketches. other times he showed me his black and white photography works. and in the corner of his bedroom i would spot an old typewriter, the one that inspired me to bought mine. i'm always amazed with this type of people who has the ability to spend time with themselves. to enjoy being with themselves. not saying that he isn't a social person, not at all, he's one of the most social person i know.
i'm not an artist, i wish i am, but i never have the privilege to be one as i have to work my ass off to make a living. and maybe actually i'm thankful that i'm not, cause i could still have a rather rational mind instead of a cracked wild one if only i didn't take the path i took to get me where i am today. but as much as i need to constantly go out to see my friends, to socialize, as much as it would kill me if i stay at home all day, i always constantly need some time for myself. to produce something out of my hands that is just for myself, although it's merely just strumming some stupid keys on my guitar in my room. maybe it's also why i still keep writing here and it's been eight years, considering how i usually get bored too easily on everything, and although some of my old thoughts might not represent who i am today. but at least i still have something to channel my thoughts and my progress in life, instead of just forgetting them. and hey at least from what i've been showing here, i got to befriend some people that are now very close to my heart and i got at least two love stories blossomed in the past because people found connection with my writings somehow and for me that's beautiful.
and then again, in this era where everything goes too fast and commitment is no longer something valuable, and seeing how easy people find pleasure doing things that are morally wrong without feeling guilty, i think it is essential to have something that can bring you pleasure aside from your day job, something that comes from and with yourself, cause most of the time you just can't rely on other people but yourself. just like the beavers.
