yeah, we need the eggs

Angus & Julia Stone - Yellow Brick Road

This guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, "Doc, uh, my brother's crazy; he thinks he's a chicken." And the doctor says, "Well, why don't you turn him in?" The guy says, "I would, but I need the eggs."

I guess that's pretty much how I feel about relationships. They're totally irrational, and crazy, and absurd, and… but, I guess we keep goin' through it because, uh, most of us… need the eggs.

- quote from Woody Allen, via ywhtvr

between hope and hopelessness

so young for death, we walk on shoes too big

and i lay face upturned on the palm of God

pushed on by the fingertips of dreams

they haunted me, consoling me

and i had thought that i would die here

but you pushed me on, you pushed me on

Corinne Bailey Rae - I Would Like To Call It Beauty

It was earlier this year on March when I went to Corinne Bailey Rae's live performance. She performed songs from her newest album, The Sea, but little that I know that it was out two years after the death of her husband. And about it she wrote this:

"I have experienced a lot of beauty in the loss, in the way that I've been able to survive. The way I feel like I'm being held - held up. I guess the song is about the amount of beauty that is in grief because of the way that people hold you up, and forces and nature, how they hold you up. There's a lot of mystery in God, and I've felt a lot of healing. I guess I can say that I have felt something protecting me and comforting me."

Sometimes the idea of God seems so vague for some people. A friend once talked about how she sees believers that seem so naive turning to God when they're facing hard times and construct some "holy" reasons on why bad things happen, in order to help them making sense of the suffering. I said I don't know and what she said sounds true somehow. But then I said, if that thought helps then why not? It's better to believe in something rather than believe in nothing. How many people out there lost the battle of life because they don't have something to believe in that holds them up. It might not be true, we never know, but at least in God, we survived and are surviving.

I literally cried when I heard the song and read her story and I can relate to what she said above. In the end no matter what people say about God, no matter what is written about it, you'll know it when you know it, you'll feel it when you feel it.

"God is a mystery and a healer."

for almost five years

From the movie, 2 Days in Paris,

To sum up the four hours of discussion that followed,

it's not easy being in a relationship, much less to truly know the other one

and accept them as they are, with all their flaws and baggage.

I confessed the toughest thing for me was to decide to be with someone for good -

the idea that this is the man I'm going to spend the rest of my life with.

To decide that I will make the effort to work things out

and not run off the minute there is a problem is very difficult for me.

There's a moment in life where you can't recover any more from another break-up.

And even if this person bugs you 60% of the time, you still can't live without him.

And even if he wakes you up every day by sneezing right in your face,

well, you love his sneezes more than anyone else's kisses.

infatuation, love, marriage, sex, and such

I really should stop watching these mellow kind of shit and start watching comedy and light drama, or a happy ending cheesy romantic comedy. Haha. Nah, not really, that might be pointless anyway. Too bad ones like the quirky Amelie, the romantically beautiful Before Sunrise, the twisted Memento, or the fresh comedic Soul Kitchen don't happen to come quite often.

So, Blue Valentine turns out to be the most disturbing movie I've watched so far this year. It gives me nothing but well explanation on some big aspects of my fear about marriage. After years of ups and downs of courtship, feelings will eventually fade and you both will grow old and ugly and dull and soulless and all the weight and troubles in life will blow the fire off. I still don't get why people rush into marriage in the name of this vague thing called "love", or worse the society pushes you to get married soon because of the age standard they created or because they think you've been dating long enough. Logically thinking, you've spent your childhood and teenager age under the tyranny of your parents, so why hurry giving your whole self to another person while you can still have your life for yourself.

I grew up in Christianity which I still think has the best idea and principle about marriage which supposed to make me less scared of marriage, but still with all the flesh on my body and his, I am scared.

Some notable quote from the movie: "I feel like men are more romantic than women. When we get married we marry, like, one girl, 'cause we're resistant the whole way until we meet one girl and we think I'd be an idiot if I didn't marry this girl she's so great. But it seems like girls get to a place where they just kinda pick the best option... 'Oh he's got a good job.' I mean they spend their whole life looking for Prince Charming and then they marry the guy who's got a good job and is gonna stick around." -Dean

"I didn't want to be somebody's husband and I didn't want to be somebody's dad, that wasn't my goal in life. But somehow it was. I work so I can do that." -Dean

at the corner of my room

are all the gifts I received the last couple of months. And yes, it includes the chocolates, the roll of film, and the fridge magnet, but except the fragrance burner which I bought by myself. Some others aren't in the picture cause I can't put them all here. I know I should've arranged it better but I don't have much space and resource :(

Thank you. For all our good relationships, not only for those who give, but to all of you, dear friends.

ps. half-frame double exposure, I don't know what happened to my camera.

High Fidelity

Rob: Do you still love me?
Laura: Well.. It's not really the issue, is it?
Rob: Why? What do you mean? What else is there?
Laura: I don't know. It doesn't change the way we don't get along. At all. In fact I hope we're not in love anymore, to be honest. Will give me a better opinion of love right now.
Rob: Come on. What? Did I beat you and tell you that you're a bad person? I mean, wtf? What should I've done to make you happy?
Laura: Nothin. Make yourself happy.
Rob: Oh, I see. Why am i not happy?
Laura: Because..you are the same person you used to be. And I'm not. And all I've done is change job.
Rob: Oh, and clothes. And hair styles. Attitudes. And friends.
Laura: I couldn't go to work with my hair dyed pink.
Rob: You're hard.
Laura: You haven't change so much but a pair of socks since I've known you.
Rob: Oh, come on Laura, you're just being stiff.
Laura: At least you used to talk about the future and now you dont even do that.
Rob: Look. I'm alright. You're the one who hate your job.
Laura: See. You haven't got a clue. I like my job. All i'm saying is..you have to allow for things to happen to people. Most of all, to yourself. And you don't Rob. So what's the use?

-from the movie, High Fidelity, to you -you know who you are-.

Lillian Bassman

A painter/photographer, born in 1917, one of the most important fashion photographer in the 40s to 60s. She decided to quit fashion photography in the early 70s and return in the early 90s after a friend found the discarded negatives at her house. She, who had always been drawn to the manipulation of images, began altering the pictures, bleaching out backgrounds, for instance, to produce dramatic contrasts.

What amazes me even more is the fact that she spend her life together with her husband for 66 years, having a relationship that spanned for 77 years. She first met him when she was 6, and he was 9. When she saw him again a several years later, she fell incurably in love, and they lived together when she was 15. They got married when Ms. Bassman was 25, and were together until his death in February 2009 at 94. “He never bored me,” she said.

Read the complete well written article here.

ps. don't you just love her personal style (last picture, left)?

strings that tied to you

...

...

i wish you could give back everything you've taken from me

cause i have nothing left in me to give to someone else

angry little girl

Quote of the day, "Why be sweet and cuddly when you can be angry, hopeless, sarcastic and vengeful with the one you love?" ~From the book "Angry Little Girls in Love". LOL.

When I googled it, turns out that it's actually a comic strip. Here's some.

Hey, you, thanks for keeping up with this 'angry' little girl, you know I love you. Hahaha xD

mighty love

Currently I'm listening to this song. Over and over and over again. Don't know why. I just watched an interview with the vocalist and hmm.. as men usually found girls physically attractive, somehow I found this guy very attractive because of his absurd melancholic personality and somehow makes genius people seem lovely.

what you love

"You are what you love Charlie, not who loves you.."

- Donald Kauffman in Adaptation

relationship expiry

So.. Does love has an expiry? Does a relationship has an expiry? Once I thought this line is just ridiculous..

the classical modern beauty

At Vogue Living Australia May/June08 edition, I found this gorgeous and beautiful beautiful design by the Australian painter and fabric designer, Carolyn Quartermaine.. And I fall in love with it!!

And I'm sorry I couldn't help myself not to post the set of the pictures, cos they're all beautiful.. Before this I won't believe that the usually-awful fluorescent pink can look that gorgeous.. There's always beauty in classic..

Zoom in to see the delicate details and colours..

his sketch

I've been looking for this picture, and I don't know I just couldn't find it anywhere on my harddisk and computer.. And yesterday when I browsed to one networking site that I never maintain, and yap, I found this there.. Hahaha. Well at least this is another one advantage from this digital era... Oh, and this is my boyfriend sketch of myself long time ago.. :P

a few letters

Found this from the book I bought long time ago, Portfolio of Inspirations. This one is by Martin Galton, the creative director and partner from Hooper Galton London.

:)

The interesting part about a good design book is each time you turn to the book you can always find new things that inspire you.